Our Life...

VoicePost 333K 1:46

“Hello everyone, this is me. I am posting my Baylist(?) ___ in a while. It's been about 2 months since having David and well well adjusted he was ___ he's something a lot more didn't(?) the night so he's you know he's days and nights are getting adjusted finally also Mark has been really well in school he's talking a lot more he's even understand what he's trying to say most of the time and what what I do ___ got working hard and he ends(?) now you know he's gonna love his job and he's it doesn't you know with the economy as it is well you know everybody's pretty scared of doing anything you know but we've been reassured by his company that they're doing well enough that they're not concerned about lay off at this point so you know just they happy and blessed that we have that opportunity to have he and kinda just getting pay check. So yeah well I don't know what else to say so I will post later but thanks again for reading. Have a good one. Bye bye.” Auto-Transcribed Voice Post - spoken through SpinVox

As Thanksgiving comes. I have really thought hard about what I am thankful for..

1. I am Thankful for my brith mother who was brave enough to leave me someplace she knew I would be safe.

2. Thankful for my adopted parents for choosing to adopt "special needs" children.

3. Thankful that my brother is my brother even if he gets under my skin at times

4. Thankful that my adopted mom was blessed with a new heart in 92'

5. Thankful my dad and myself could reestablish a relationship/friendship

6. Thankful I have the husband I have

7. Thankful for my two young boys who G-D intrusted Scott and I with.

8. Thankful that the lord gave me every challenge in my life, even if at the time I did not feel very thankful.

9. Thankful for all my family/friends who makes my days a bit brighter becouse there in my life.

10. Thankful for my life and everything in it.

It has almost been 1 month with our David.

Mark is really a great help. He loves to help in the care of his brother, which for me is great. We have made sure to set aside time each day for him to have time with each of us without his brother in our arms.

We encourge him to interact with his brother. He holds, help feed, help change his brother. I have seen many parents of more then one child, hushing, saying no, or dont do that when concerning the younger child. I vowed I would never do that if at all possible. I have also saw parents doing what I do, and in my observation there is less stress/jealousy issues if you allow the children to interact with positive encouragement.

Nov. is adoption month and I wanted to talk about that becouse I am not sure when i will have time/energy to post again this month..

Adoption to me is an awesome alternative to keeping a child. I am adopted, and so is my brother (not by the same brith family). If it wasnt for my birth mother hard dession to walk away from me. I may not have never had the chance to be adopted to grow up in America to get married or have my own children.

Sure I had a hard childhood, but I truly beleave that the lord would never let anything happen to me that he thought was to overwhelming for me.I am thankful for all my trails and triblations I have been allowed to overcome.

If your with child but can't keep the child for whatever reason please concider adoption, there are people that can't have children naturally that would love a chance to be a parent. There are many adioption agencies. I will warn brith parents and adopted parents to invest time to look into the adoption agency you want to go thru. As many adoption agency there are out there. Many of them are not on the up and up. If you need help researching an agency I would be happy to help you. Have a great November

We are finally home so here is the brith story I promised.

The morning of Oct 8th 2009 came faster then I ever beleved. Nine months flew by very fast. I can hardly beleave the time went by that fast.

I was already at the hospital by my check in time. Scott and Mark were there with me. I was scared to be honest with you. I had tryed everything from sex to masterbation and everything in betweeen to induce my own labor.

I was stuck at -2, 0-1 CM Postery Soft. So by the time of my C-section I was not, nor had been thru-out my pregency in true "active labor". I was emotional drained from 2 weeks of trying to induce my own labor.

Anyway my mom came and watched Mark in the family room. I had a hard time letting him go, I guess becouse I knew that when that happened I would be off to the OR for major surgery. He cryed, it broke my heart, Scott helped him transition, as I was preped for surgery.

I went in they have me a local to numb my bottom half of my body, that was not too bad, the guy talked to me thru out the event, I kept asking for Scott, he came after I was strapped in. I saw him and a peace came over me, I knew as long as he was by my side things would be OK.

My OB doctor was the one to perform the C-section which was fun for us. My OB is great, funny, and he loves sports. He manly talked to the nurses and the other surgery team, which was fine that means he was making sure I was OK health wise. There is some comfert knowing the person who followed you for 9 months is the person to help you during the delvery which isnt as comman now a days, unless its pre planned like mine was.

As he took out the baby, I felt as though my insides were being pushed up my throat.He said "Its a Boy" and a rush of relief came over me, as I really don't want a girl. Anyway he showed me the baby and the face was blue, but after 2 seconds a healthy cry could be heard. I started crying as I relized this child was here, and we were once again blessed with a healthy baby.

He was cleaned up, Scott went and watched over our son who we were up in the air about a name for up to that point. Scott brought David Scott back to the OR where I was being stiched up, and said with excitment "His a boy! His 9 pounds!!" I was a bit tired but not as tired as the last time.

I was put in my room, where I stayed for the next 3 days. My OB did not use staples on me, which had been done on the previous birth. As the days progressed Mark and Scott came and visited for a few hours and then went home again. My mom and brother came by a couple times, and my mom stayed over 2 nights, which was awful nice as I was very lonely without my Scott or Mark. I mean I had David, but I just missed my day to day life.

David Scott was born 8:15am Oct 8th 2009 9 pounds 21 1/2 inches. He lached on to the breast. He is a great baby.

Mark Anthony is happy to have a baby brother, although he thinks at times he came loud. I have tryed to set a time a day that I spend with Mark, just him and I, and Scott is going try the same so we can try to reassure him that he is still as importent to us as he ever was.

Well thats about it for us for now. This is day 1 of the 4 of us living together. With time we will establish routines and hopefully Mark wont feel left out.

I need to figure out how to spilt my time between Scott, Mark and David and still leave time for myself. That will take time, I just hope that Mark and Scott will give me the time I need to adjust.

Oh yes my in laws came on day, for a few hours, it was nice to not have as many visters as I did with Mark, I must admit.

Seven Years ago today...

I had a really huge accident. I was knocked out, to this day I don't recall a single thing that happened. I have been told that I kept calling people asking the same questions over and over. I also apparently was very repetitive on everything. to the people I bothered at all hours of the day, I truly apologies that I did that, let alone I don't recall doing so. I hope you can forgive me.

After I was discharged the doctors and my sweet mother decided it was best I tempearly move back home. While I went thru Therpy on simple things like remembering to turn off ovens, etc. I vagly remember this period of my life.

At that point in my life I had recently broke up with a guy within that year, and I was trying my hardest to improve myself. Any of you who ever broke up with anyone knows that you change, maybe internally, or externally but break ups change you.

A high school sweetheart had recently moved back into town, I was at my moms doing loundry I remember this day clearly becouse when I was in hospital recovering, I prayed that I wanted the lord or whatever was out there to send me the church he/they wanted me to go to. Before my accident, after my break up, I started looking into relgion, and went to sevreal congragations and found that I wasn't sure what was right.

So back to the day I was doing loundry, I get a knock at the door and there were two young men, in suits, I look past them, I do not see a car. I had heard of J.W. but was always told they were older men, or a older couple. So when I saw bikes, I was not sure who they were, they were not there selling anything heavy. Maybe they were selling magizenes for an upcoming school trip.

I was impressed to let them in, They said there names were Elder Duckett, and Elder Layton from The Church Of Jesus Christ, I knew right then and there my prayer was answered. I beleave my respounce was when can I join? They were taken back, but they sat and explianed that they had to teach me the lords plan before that could happen, i would have to go to the church building. I was so excited, and peaceful, I just never felt that feeling about church or a relgion before.

My high school friend called me shortly after they left, and I just had to share my news, and he came over and we went out, and he said while he lived in Utah he had joined the church, the very same church I was going to join, I laughed, it was just to ironic that he moves back in the same time that this was happening.

Anyway he helped the Missionaries teach me, due to rules they could not met at my house, and my mom had also asked that I met them elsewhere. So the missionaries and I, and ny friend when he could would met at the library.

I was baptized today 7 years ago. Since then my life went from good to awesome Sure I have struggles like everyone else, I have days that seem harder then others, but I know that my understanding of the lords plan for me, and my delinquents to become closer to him, that with him I can and do over come.

I have been blessed for the choice I made 7 years ago. I married, have a wonderful son. I was able to be a missionary without an acutaul mission calling. The people from my 1st ward have stuck with me, thru the 7 years. Then when I married and moved the 2nd ward was as friendly to me, and my husband. Now our 3rd area same. You see no matter where you live in the world the Church is lead in the same manner, The meetings are held the same, The Teachings are the same throughout the world. So for example if the lesson is on forgiveness, no matter where you are in the world, thats what the lesson is. People are different, but the doctrine is the same. That is what really is truly amazing.

Thank you for reading this. I hope my message is clear, even with the typos.

To understand the importantence of a year ago. We have to start at the very beginning..

When Scott and I first met. I was a less active member of my church. Going to church every Sunday was hard for me as at that point I had 2 jobs 1 full and 1 part time, plus FT in college. I usally was either working, or studying or both on Sundays, and for someone like myself who did not grow up in any church, or a belief in a highier being. I just allowed my wordly needs above my spiritial needs.

At that point when Scott and I met, it was after a night of dancing (I love to dance its like an escape, and a form of excerise for me) I was dating this guy, and our mutual friends knew I was tired of this guy, he had lied and just really uised me for my car, there was not any real love spark, I stayed with him as long as I did just for someone to dance with. Lucky for me, we were never physically together. I do think about him, as I do most of my ex's "Is he happy, is he enjoying what life has to offer?" Anyway I regress..

Scott and I met a day before his oldest brother was to turn 40, We hit it off right away. He was too good to be true, a guy who had a job, that he had been with for years. He seemed mentally stable. Physically my type. We hung out many times after that, before I dumped the other guy to be with him. Best choice I made.

We got married in 2005. By then I had only 1 job and my $$ for school had run out so I was no longer a student. So I desided it was time to get back into church. I was scared to return, scared mostly at what people would say or think about me returning, but after talking to my Bishop and telling him what I had been doing, I was welcomed back with open hands and open hearts no one judged me, I started going weekly again, and it felt great to have the spirit back in my life.

In 2006 we had our son, I was unable to attend church as much as I wanted, driving was so hard in my small Jetta. I had wonderful Visiting Teacher (the Bishiop's wife) and home Teachers (the current bishop and his wife) They made sure not to lose track of me. By there dedication to my family. That was the begining of what I beleave Scott spiritual path was. Our Home Teachers came over shared messages with us, but more then that they befriended Scott, to this day Scott wants updates on our old home teachers. Scott said to me one day "There just like us, he wears normal cloths just like me!"

When we moved to Burnsville I was so upset I did not think anyone would try to get to know us, and frankly I was not sure I wanted to get to know them. Well Scott came with me to one of my frist meetings in the new area. I met the Bishop and he was much younger then my last Bishop, being a convert myself and only being in 1 area for a long time I just assumed to be a Bishop you had to be older with no kids in school. This Bishop I liked right away. He has easy to talk to and he had a great deal of understanding about Scott being married to a member. He himself is a convert. his wife became my Visting Teacher. I just love her. She knew exacly the struggles of a part family (part family refures to a family that one spouce is a member and the other one is not) Well anyway one of the Bishops Counclers looked at Scott and Scott looked at him, they seemed to be studying each other. So I said "Do you know each other?" and Scott smiled and nodded his head, but said "I think so bit not sure from where" So for a good 10 mins they both went back and forth with names of places, until they found the one that fit. When we got home he said "Can you ask the Bishop that he be our home teacher" I was not sure, but the next week I talked to the Bishop and sure enough the councler was our home teacher.

I cnt. to go to Church Scott would join me when he wanted to. I tryed not to push him. He started coming more and more, he agreed to meet with the Elders, then one day the Elders asked him if he would pray to know if this was the church he was to join. When he told me he wanted to join the church, I was elighted.

We asked our old home teacher to baptise Scott and the current home teacher to confirm him, they both agreed. I truly beleave that had our home teachers not been so active in there callings Scott may have not become a member when he did. Its been one year as of today he was a member of the church. He told me yesterday this has been the most spiritully fulling year of his life. He is now a Home Teacher himself, and has a calling in the church. We can now look foeward to a temple wedding one day. I am very greatful for the Home Teaching program.

This is way to long to spell check, but I hope my message is clear enough.

Well I am in week 32 at this time. Its exhausting having a 3 year old trying to be physically there for him, can be hard now a days. I can not help but feel guilty for not being able to play with him the way I used to. We used to throw a ball back and forth, we would chase each other thru the house, you know boyish thinks. Now all I can do is sit down games, at the same time at least he still has Scott for the physical games.

Having GD is harder his time as well. I am now on 2 different kinds of Insulin. So I give myself insulin 2X a day Breakfast and Dinner. each time 2 kinds of insulin at 6 units per insulin. I don't really like needles, so that's four sticks of insulin in my belly, and 4 finger sticks for my suger levels per day. Its so emotionally hard on me to do that to myself, but if it helps the unborn child that's what keeps me going.

My weeks are full of doctor appointments, I am very thankful Scott is able to be home during all this, so I don't have to worry who is watching my son, and if they are taken good care of him, or is he happy. I know Scott is darn good parent and I trust him with our son. Plus have 3 year old at a doctors office isn't easy when you need to concentrate on whatever is going on at the moment.

I started going to my Chiropractor again. She is awsome and she is very helpful with my concerns. I just love her, she is freaken amazing!!

I also started seeing a Talk Therapist again. She seems really down to earth. Not the kind to smile all the dang time. I have only seen her once, but I am sure in time I will feel better and learn lots.

My life is amazing. I am very stressed right now to be honest with you. I am thankful for my life, my son, my marriage. Amongst the stress I can look at all the great things I have and the stress seems minimal.

Thanks for reading.

Ok I am going share some very personal information, the reason I want to share is because I feel that Depression is still misunderstood, also it helps me deal with it if I talk about it.

Now you may think I am cheerful, happy person ALL the time. This is not the case, I must admit most of the time I am, but I have my moments and up to this point only close friends, and close family knew.

When I was 12 my parents Divorced, my mom was going thru a Heart Transplant. I felt alone and a banded. Even though my parents Divorcing never meant I never would see either one of them, or my mom Heart Transplant would not be a success. Although to a 12 year old who was already "a banded" by her birth family (that's not how I feel today, but was then), then to face losing another mother. Was to much mentally for me to handle.

I tried to commit suicide (yes I know, silly me, but as you can tell I was not very unsuccessful) I tried to cut myself in my private areas. I tried to chock myself, I tried drowning myself, I even thought if I could get my hands on a Gun I could just blast my head off. Lucky for me, my dad was still states away, and when he did come up here, I believe he was told I was mentally unstable and locked his guns up at his house, which I never went to alone.

Looking back now, I still feel shame, embarrassment, and guilt for putting my parents, my brother and the rest of my family thru that. I was in Hospitals, I learned how to cope with my sadness, I learned to forgive my angry feelings towards those who hurt me in the past. I learned to love myself, and above all I learned how to survive.

Depression for me never really went away, I never "grew out" of it. I just now have the tools to recognize signs and to seek help when it starts. If your reading this and thinking you can't live with depression, I would say Yes you can, you may never 100% be cured of depression, but you like me can learn to look for signs, how to accept and ask for help, and how to trust people.

When I was preg. with my first child. I was not depressed. I was worried about how I could parent positivity, so I went to a Therapist and talked over my concerns before the baby came, after he was home. I became a hermit for months, I only allowed those I trusted in my house, we went out places, to see people but I perfered to be home. I had made a plan with my therapist on how I could avoid feeling anxiety and that was what worked for me.

This pregency my concerns are different. I have proved to myself that I am a good parent. So my concern is no longer how to be a good parent, but now its how to avoid postpartum depression. I am due to delivery in October which for me is the start of my seasonal depression. Knowing this I plan to see a Therapist to figure out how to best take care of myself so that I can be better wife and remain a good parent to both kids.

I may decided not to be around to many people for the winter months but I assure you all I will come out again after that. Try to keep in mind that my ways of coping with my depression is what I have learned is the best. Please do not take it personally if I do not want to come out to see you, or have you come to see me. Everyone deals with there depression differently some people can be around people in fact they prefer it that way, but for me, I do prefer to not be around a lot of people. I hope you can support and respect my decisions when it comes to my depression.

I hope this helps people understand me better, and understand Depression better. If you think you may suffer from Depression I will add some resources that might help you help yourself. If you want someone to talk to who understands Depression, I would be happy to hear your story.

Resources:

http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/postpartum-depression/DS00546/DSECTION=symptoms

http://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/publications/depression/complete-index.shtml

July has always been hard for me for a few reasons Although I will talk about that later in this post. Right now lets talk about joyful events...

At the end of July we had 2 birthdays. Frist was Mark's then mine. Lets talk about Mark for a moment.

Mark is a brite 3 year old. His speech is really coming along. He loves Cars, the movie, and he loves to play with toy cars. He enjoys drawing, painting. He really enjoys going with Scott. They have an amazing bound. I enjoy watching Scott interact with Mark. His a super Dad. We had a car seat installed in Scott car, so that the days I have doctor appointments they are not stuck home, and they can make Mark's appointments.

His birthday was awesome. We went to the zoo and he was super well behaved, plus he loved seeing all the live animal. He loved all his presents. We had been picking up present thru out the year as we saw them on sale, well by the time it was time to rap the presents the kid had 7 from us alone. It was funny.

The Saturday before his actually birthday the grandparents met us at his Fav. Park and we had a small party for him. He spent most of the time playing in the park, but he came in when it was cake and present time. It was fun two days.

He is amazing, I am lucky he chose us as his parents. I just hope we do justice by him. I can't believe 3 years has past. It doesn't seem that long ago.

After that was my birthday. I turned 29, we went to the park for Mark, then went out to a Pizza place for me, it was quite day but that was OK. Then that Friday Scott took me out to hear music. The band was bad, but it was Scott, my brother, myself and a good friend. The company was what made the night awesome.

So now as to why July is hard for me.

I feel lucky that my adopted parents chose me to be in there family. Although my birthday is a huge reminder to me that I have parents, family somewhere who have never seen me past 3 years old. I also feel happy knowing my birth mother made the chose to leave me hoping the best for me. So I have days in July I am super happy others I feel sad, but most of this July I was so boggled with both emotions I didn't know how I was feeling.

I am glad we are in August. I hope August is an awesome month.

Ok I promised you all I would update my blog about the pregency when I got new news. So here it goes, long blog ahead, so grab a cup of your fav. drink and enjoy the read.

Lets start with here I thought July was going be a month full of business haha!! Oh I was so wrong.

I have to thank the lord that Scott medically is doing well. Scott is my rock, my foundation next to the lord without him. I think I would be more stressed out. You know how, sometimes in life you have those friends who are exactly like you? So much so you want to ring there necks, as I am sure they want to ring yours. I am lucky in that Scott and I friendship is nothing like that. We bicker alot. My in laws call is the bickersons. Although from what my mom has said my Grandma and Grandpa bickered as well, but they had a long lasting loving marriage.

We are two different people with two different life back rounds, and a big age gap between us. 13 years to be more accurete. Although I think that all the diffrences makes us a perfect couple. He understands things I do not, vise a versa. He can make me see the postitve when I find myself in one of my deprresion states, and I make him laugh when his upset. His an amazing person, and I adore him. He is a perfect example to my son how a man should be, toward his wife, toward his children, and work ethics. I am really blessed.

Ok enough with the gushy stuff hehe!!

As many of you know I have Gestational Diabities with this baby as I did with our son. We are fast appraching 30W and my last tremester. With that I had a OBGYN vidit today. They told me the baby shows NO SIGNS of a Cyst anywhere on its body!! WooHoo!! The baby is healthy and growing at a healthy rate.

I told the Doctor that Scott and I talked and we want to try for a vaginal brith. I assured her I was mentally prepared to try and to be told that they have to do a C-section. Last time it took about 6 months to really recover from my C-Section and I suppose thats why we want to try viginal brithing. Then after that I told her how the doctor last time made me come in after 30W every week to get a fetal stress test and U/S becouse of my GD.

Well becouse I am taking an insuln which is a growth hormone, her plan is to see my 2X a week 1 of those times I do a U/S and a stress test, the other I just do a stress test. She says as long as the baby does not get to big, or does not become stressed, then she doesnt see a reason we can't try Viginally.

So here is where it gets fun for me, and Scott, and Mark. I will see the OBGYN 2X a week, I will see a GD Doctor 1X every other week, until this baby is born. On top of my own visits Mark has Speech, OT/PT all 1X a week, but split up on 2 diffrent days. So started in Augest to Sept we will be busy busy bunch.

Then in Sept thru the beginning of Oct The OT/PT will stop, but the external Speech will keep going until December. My appointments will remain the same as stated above. PLUS we add 3X a week Mark has Pre School. So we will be dropping him off and picking him up from there as well.

So as you can see my life just got a little bit more mobile. So if we talk and I seem out of it, or day dreamy you know why. Please try to understand all 3 of us might be tired as all get out for the rest of the summer well into the fall.

Thank you for your understanding, and your support!! I know Scott, Mark and I appreciate all the support you all have given and I am sure will give to our family. Thanks again for reading this.

Well the rest of pregency is full of Doctors appointments. Of course with my OBGYN but now with a GD specilist. I am sure glad that I have a great support system. I am still dealing with this cold thing I have.

Anyway Mark turns 3 years this month on the 27th. I cant beleave how time has flown by. His really come a long way. From needing me every second of every day. To now he wants to play alone alot of the time. My mom donoted some money and got a few things in the mail for her donation. One which was a hat. She gave it to us. Scott nor I really paid to much attn to the hat, but recently Mark has found it, and he is never to far from it. I must say at least its something he wears. I hear this is the age where kids if theyare going have a "security" item. I asked my parents what mine was, they said it was them. I had and still suffer from sepration anixety its gotton better in years but Alot of adopted kids have this conidition and you just learn to cope. my brother had a blanket. My mom told me it was a struggle to get it washed.

Anyway his a great kid, really intellegent. He knows his colors, numbers up to 10, shapes, and other things. His always been a brite kid, very fast to understand things, but just verbalization has been his weakiness. Although with intense therepy he has really learned to verbalize alot of his words only I, or Scott can understand, but at least his making attempts.

On the 30th I will be 29. For me my brithday has always been a bit of a emotonal day. Feelings of gratuide for my adopted family, extended adopted family, my husband, and my son. Although I reflect on the loss of my brith family. I often hope that where they are they think of me, I was in the postion to start looking but ow that I am preg. I felt that it would be to much emotionally for me to try to find them now. After all my adoption was closed in Colombia in the early 1980's so records were not kept well, or at all. I remember my brithday the year Mark was born, I was too busy recovering from a C-section and a infection to really relieze it was my brithday, but when I looked at my son, I wondered if he had the same looks as a newborn as I did.

I admit this pregency has been alot easier emotionally for me, I guess becouse I sorta know what to expect, I am worried that the time of year the baby will be born also is normally the start of my seasonal deppresion so I am in the process of researching local talk therepy doctors so I can be pro active and hopefully not get Post pardon depression. Anyway I think I will be OK. I have been really open with my support system about my concerns and there all willing to help support me anyway they can. To help me control my depression.

My Uncle was here for my cuz wedding last month and I was able to sit and talk with him over some not so grand food, but at least the conversation and company was grand. He spent some time with mom after the wedding, I know how much she loved hosting him at her house. She misses him greatly and this was an awsome chance for them to reconnect. I enjoy hearing about her days since his been staying with her. She seems so much happier.

I wish everyone a happy a safe 4th of July. Until my next post.

Greetings...

Last week was very hard wmotional for me. As most of you know I had Gestational Diabities towards the end of my last pregency, I want to say I was 32-34 weeks along.

Last Wedesday went in for a regualar OB check, but had to do a 1 hour Glocost test. So drank the nasty sugar water, then went to my OB appointment went back to the tech area and got my blood drawn.

Thusday morning I woke up to a voivcemail from the doctors office alerting me I failed my 1 hour and needed to do a 3 hour test. I did not want to go a whole weekend not knowing my results. So lucky for me I had not ate yet and my last meal was 12 hours before the phone call I made. So I went in, they gave me the same nasty drink and I sat at the tech area for 3 hours every hour being pricked. This time I was precked 4 times. 1X in the arm and 3X in my hand.

I felt so sick by the end it was 5pm and I had yet to eat anything. Well Thusday night my hand and arm were black and blue I started to worry about my cuz wedding and if anyone would notice ort ask What the heck was with my hand and arm being all bruised up.

Friday came and I called in the afternnon where I was informed out of the 3 hours I failerd hours 1, and 2. So now I get see a GD specilist. I guess I am OK with it. I mean I grieved and did all the self blame anyone can do. So now all I can do is do what they want and hope my baby will be OK

Saturday was fun. My cuz was a awsome bride, and her bride groom was pretty awsome. Saturday night, Sunday and Monday I spent the days coughing, sneezing, and doing the cold thing. But Saturday was the highlight of my week. Normally I try to spell check but tonight my cold is just getting the best of me, so thanks for reading thus far.

I cant beleave how time has flown by so fast this time.

Went to my OBGYN yesterday. He checked my urine after I expressed concern. He looked at the U/S after I asked him to clearfily what the nurse had told me my last visit. He listened to the baby, and measured my belly, and he checked my surfix and he said "Good your still closed" I said for 21 weeks I would hope so, as I smiled nervously.

He reassured me that 1-5 babies have cyst that go away during the gestational period. He said its 100% normal, and that I should be fine, and my baby should be fine. He said the protein in my urine is so small "trace findings" that he is not at all concerned. He also recommend that I nor any other preg. women should google issues concern there pregency since most of the findings are worst case scenarios. I told him I learned that, and that's why I needed reassurance from him.

The reason I saw him was an follow up after my maybe kidney stone. I am so glad I did.

Scott got a raise from his job, which on this economic times is unheard of, many of my close friends either lost, losing there jobs, or they are taken hour, or pay cuts. I am very lucky Scott loves his job as he does. We are just relieved really that his got a job regardless of the pay raise although it was a nice surprise.

Mark has an ear infection so his on the Pink Medicine. He loves it so much he begs for it, after he gets it he runs around yelling "num num" haha!! I don't recall ever having that reaction to medication, but I could be wrong.

This month is crazy for us. My cousin (one of them) is getting married, to a guy who I think is great. I have gotten to know him throughout the years there the same people who turned me on to SL, haha!! Anyway There getting married this month. They make a very loving couple. I could not be more pleased about this.

My dad's brother is in very poor health. He was at my wedding. He is a super Uncle and I feel very bad for my dad that he has to go thru this and for my Uncles family. I wish we lived closer so I could help them out or at least be there to support them emotionally.

Thank you for reading this. Man like I said 22 weeks out of 40 completed wow.

Ok I can't pretend things are going GREAT.

Scott and Mark are awesome, this post is not about them. Its about me...

As you all know I have Cerebral Palsy, I have had it since birth. I have dealt with very little as far as medical complications due to my condition.

For the most part I try to be an upbeat, happy go lucky person, but this post isn't at all like that.

When I got preg the first time. As I progressed I became very sore in my hips and my back became very painful. I was seeing a Chiropractor 1X a week, it helped but it still hurt. Later I developed Gestational Diabetes. Due to my CP could not feel the contractions and therefor did not push, nor did I progress past 6-8 Centimeters and Mark never dropped. His Heart Rate dropped they did a 911 C-Section.

After that experience I waited an extra recommended year to get preg again. I have back pain, stretching belly pain, and being watched for Gestational Diabetes. Which all for me is within my norm. Last night my mother had to take me to the ER where they admitted me for observation. The doctors were OBGYN doctors. They "think" I may have had kidney Stone, although they were not 100% sure. In any case they released me at about 9am after the pain left me.

This past Tuesday I went to my regular ONGYN check, the Tuesday before I had an U/S everything looked great, but the Radiologist said there was a 3m Cyst on the Skull/Head with that they want me to get another U/S at 28 weeks. Neither the Cyst or the kidney stone was an issue my last pregency. I am pretty shock up. I know Cysts can subside or go away in time, and kidney stones go away after awhile, but that doesn't help my nerves.

I am very thankful for my son Mark, and my husband Scott but last night I cried myself to sleep. I have never been a night without my husband since we were married , and never from my son since he was born. All this tribulation with this pregency reminds me how lucky I am for what I have. I may not be finical well off. Although as long as I have Scott and Mark and there health I am well off spiritually and that's all I ever wanted in this life.

Well that was our wedding date.

Things I have learned in 4 years of marriage.

1. To not compare my marriage to others

2. To compliment Scott daily

3. To Thank Scott for all he does

4. To say "I love you" and mean it.

5. After having kids, to always remember to put my marriage before my kids.

6. Have dates with just Scott and I (and maybe a few friends)

7. To remember why I loved Scott to begin with.

8. Celebrating all the small things in life.

9. To do Scott favors without being asked.

10. Talk out our conflicts when we are calm and relaxed.

All in all these pasr 4 years have been really amazing. I never thought I would be married. I am glad I met Scott. His the best thing that ever happened to me.

Hello! I know its been awhile sence I updated anything. So this be quite long...

Well I am about 17 weeks preg. I no longer feel as though I am going upchuck everything I eat. I am tired as ever, I have hip pain and my back is killing me. I cant eat certain foods. Basisaclly same events as when I was preg. with Mark. We are going wait till the birth to find out the sex of the baby, please don't tell me what you think I am having.

Our son turns three in late July. His so tall many people think his older then he is. He was diagnosed with Apraxia which is a kind of speech delay. Specifically a moter planning speech issue. So since we moved our son has had an hour of Speech 1X a week in the private sector. He is also receiving ISD Speech 1X a week for 30 mins. He is also in OT/PT 1X a week in the private Sector.

Come this Fall since he will be 3 he graduates from Birth to 3 program to 3-5 program So that means 3X a week for 2.5 hours he will be in a preschool setting in the ISD. Within that time 2X out of the 3X he will be pulled to a Speech class for 20 mins. He will cnt private speech for one hour. Although the OT and the PT do not think he will need there services past the summer. So yay, I wont be that crazy.

Scott got his review he had a great review. He still loves his job, his coworkers which I am glad. He recently had a birthday in April. He has really been my rock. His support with our son and understanding about my physical limits is amazing.

Ok this is the end of the update. Thank you for reading this far. Have a wonderful day.

Hey



Just to let you know Due Date is 10-08-09 will not find out the sex of the child until birth.

Has had dyria for the past 2 days. I feel so bad for him. He wont eat, but thank gosh he will drink water.

We cut out Milk or diary in general. As recommend by the nurse line. I am leaving veggies out for him to munch on. He refuses to eat at dinner time, so we are back to just leaving food out for hom to graze on.

We cancelled plans last weekend because I was sick. My stomach was up and down, and I just really could not stay awake along to talk to anyone.

We cancelled plans this weekend becouse we are not sure the couse of his dyria and in case its becouse of illiness we do not want to spread the good fortune.

I see a doctor tommrow about my pregency and I am nervous, but very excited. Had to cancel Marks speech and OT this week becouse they do not want to see him if he is sick. Who can blame them, I had to get Scott to buy me a havc mask so I dont smell the dyria when I change diapers.

He was doing great on potty training, started Monday and well had to stop on Tuesday when the dyria started.

scared...

sad...

happy..


Scared I wont be a good parent after baby #2 comes.
Scared I wont have enough love for each child.

Sad my birth parents cant see me now
Sad I dont have faith in myself about having a 2nd child
Sad we moved futher from family.

Happy we are still HAPPILY married.
Happy Mark is making improvments with his Speecg, OT/PT
Happy I have a supoortive husband who loves me no matter what
Happy My husband loves his job, and we moved closer to the job
Happy to be with Child.